Tech Support: Yes Ma'am... how can I help you?
Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can
you guide me though the process?
Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?
Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do
first?
Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your
Heart ma'am?
Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay
to install Love while they are running?
Tech Support: What programs are running ma'am?
Customer: Let's see, I have Past/Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and
Resentment running right now.
Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past/Hurt from your
current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it
will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low
Self-Esteem with a module of it's own called High Self-Esteem. However, you
have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent
Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ma'am?
Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?
Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness.
Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have
completely erased.
Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?
Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You
need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.
Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - program
not run on external components." What should I do?
Tech Support: Don't worry ma'am. It means that the Love program is set up to
run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In
non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you
can Love others.
Customer: So, what should I do?
Tech Support: Can you pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following
files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.
Customer: Okay, done.
Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will
overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also,
you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty
your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.
Customer: Got it. Hey!!! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is
playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all
over My Heart. Is this normal?
Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually
everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One
more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its
various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others
and return some cool modules back to you.
Customer: I promise to do just that. By the way, what's your name?
Tech Support: Just call me the Divine Cardiologist, also known as the Great
Physician, or, just "I AM." Most people feel all they need is an annual
checkup to stay heart-healthy; but, the manufacturer (ME) suggests a daily
maintenance schedule for maximum Love efficiency!
